Bound Together
by tyrna
Summary: After the events of Act 3, Anders must face the consequences of his actions. Will Fenris stand with him, or has the mage forever broken the bond they had forged?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Takes place in the same universe as "Mistakes", after Act 3.

The ship plowed across the sea, bow cutting through the waves that seemed to be getting rougher. Fenris looked up from his spot against the starboard railing, watching as the burning city slowly got further away. Hawke and Merrill were a few feet to his right, the human with his arms wrapped protectively around the Dalish. Around them were Isabella's crew and the mages they'd managed to rescue all trying to keep busy. Isabella was at the wheel, Varric chatting with her about something. Aveline and Donnic were on the other side of the ship, deep in a conversation that no one seemed willing to interrupt. The Elf sighed heavily, standing up straight and looking at Hawke. "Bethany and Nathaniel are talking to him," the other warrior said with barely a glance in his direction. Ah yes, the Wardens who had come when they'd heard how unstable Kirkwall was becoming. They'd helped against the Templars and Meredith after…

"Venhedis," he sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Fenris, you really should speak with him," Merrill softly pleaded. "I think you're the only one who understands him."

"Understand?" he asked in disbelief, staring at her. "You think I understand why he did that? He hid that from all of us!"

"With good reason," Hawke replied with a shrug. "I'm not even sure I would have completely gone along with his plan. Blowing up the Templar quarters, fine. The Chantry?" Hawke sighed and shook his head. "It caught us all off-guard, Fenris."

"But you and he did not share a bed, or discuss your past as extensively as we did. I thought he trusted me."

"He's the only one who can answer that," Merrill reminded him. The former slave hung his head and headed for the hold, where all the younger mages were being kept so they wouldn't get in the way. The interior of the ship was dark, feebly lit by lanterns every so often so people wouldn't trip over each other or various supplies. The children all stopped talking as he walked past them, and he could see their wide eyes as his markings flared slightly in response to the magick he could feel. Finally he heard arguing coming from a back storeroom, and stood listening at the slightly open door.

"…were you thinking? Did you honestly believe that was a wise choice?"

"I don't know!" Anders yelled back. "But something needed to be done."

"You started a war, Anders," Bethany shot back. "Innocent people died."

"You think I don't know that? You think I came to this decision lightly?"

"Then why, Anders?" Nathaniel demanded. "Tell me why you did this, and I'll leave it alone." Fenris held his breath as he edged closer, now getting a good view of the cramped room: Anders was backed into a corner, anger and guilt clear on his face. Nathaniel was in front of him, arms rigid at his sides. Bethany was behind him, one hand on the older man's shoulder.

"You wouldn't understand," the healer finally whispered.

"Damnit mage, tell me!" the dark-haired man roared, grabbing a handful of Anders' shirt and bringing their faces inches apart. Fenris felt every instinct he had tell him to burst in and stop this, but he forced his body to remain still.

"Nathaniel, please calm down!" Bethany pleaded, her grip tightening slightly.

"No, I need answers. I didn't get a reason to why he left Amaranthine, or why he was in Kirkwall. But Andraste as my witness, I **will** know why he blew up the Chantry!"

"For the Maker's sake, Nate-"

"**Don't**." That one word was spoken with so much venom that Bethany took a step back, and Anders closed his mouth and swallowed nervously. The archer let his former comrade go, but not before slamming him into the wall. "Once we get to Amaranthine, I want you gone. I won't have the Wardens of Ferelden pulled into a war."

"I never meant-"

"Save it. You're no longer the man I knew. Maybe you never were who I thought you were, but that doesn't matter any more. Bethany, we are done here." The two Wardens walked out of the room, and Fenris stepped back to let them pass. Bethany turned and motioned with her head towards the room.

"My brother wrote to me about what happened. But Maker help me, Fenris, I still don't understand his reasons."

"None of us do," he replied after a moment.

"I'm sorry." Then she was gone, and Fenris turned his eyes to the room. He pushed open the door and stared at the man within. Anders had slid down the wall, and was sitting his knees against his chest, resting his head on his arms. He looked up and blinked, then closed his eyes.

"Why?" the Elf asked, voice softer than he wanted it.

"I don't have a reason that makes sense, Fenris."

"Any reason would be better than this." Anders opened his eyes and slowly stood.

"Because it had to stop. Meredith was making things infinitely more oppressive in Kirkwall, and there are other people who are even worse than she is. And everyone needed to stop pretending that the Circles were the right way to go."

"So you declared war on a city, forced Hawke to choose between peace and chaos, and then expected both him and I to kill you?" Fenris shouted the last part, glaring at the mage, who nodded.

"Why didn't you?" The whispered question caught the Elf off-guard, and he stood there with his mouth hanging open for a moment. Then he hauled the healer up by his shirt, a low growl escaping him.

"You thought I would be heartless enough to shove a blade between the ribs of the man I care about? You think Hawke would be able to stab someone he calls "brother" in the back? I don't know what that Spirit has been whispering to you, mage, but you better learn to shut him up." Anders was staring at him, fighting back both anger and tears. For Fenris to call him "mage" again hurt him on a level he couldn't describe.

"I'm sorry," he finally managed to get out past the lump in his throat.

"I trusted you; we all did. When you figure out what your next step will be, come find me. Until then, I will be helping this ship reach a safe port, now that you have made Kirkwall impossible for us to return to." Fenris stalked out of the room, and Anders once more slid down the wall, head in his hands.

_'Every revolution has a price. Every war its martyrs,'_ Justice spoke up.

"But I don't want to be a martyr anymore. And if this war costs me the family I found… Will it be worth it?"

_'Yes.'_ But the healer shook his head, listening as the ship creaked and the waves lapped at the sides. He closed his eyes and let the tears slip down his cheeks.

"I'm not so certain, Justice."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Amaranthine seemed like a small country village compared to what they'd all grown accustomed to in Kirkwall. As they disembarked, Hawke put up his hands to get everyone's attention: "All right people, this is the first stop for some of you, and the last for others. We leave in two days, once supplies have been loaded. If you're not on the ship when it pulls out of port, consider Ferelden your new home."

"And anyone staying on will be put to work," Isabella chimed in with a sweet smile. The mages all looked at each other, then to Hawke. The warrior noticed that Anders was staying in the back, strangely quiet. Looked like it was still up to him to figure everything out.

"We'll send word to Denerim that you're apostates seeking asylum. Queen Anora seems like a decent woman, so you should be safe there. Those who want to take their chances on the sea or at another port are more than welcome to come along. And now, if you all don't mind… I need a damn drink." The warrior headed off for the tavern, most of the ship trailing after him. Anders looked around, the sights and sounds of the city sweeping over him as he remembered the year he'd spent with the Wardens. He was walking before he had a destination in mind, and came upon a small house that seemed familiar. Justice perked up, but then pulled back just as quickly, unsure of what to do. Anders wasn't sure how long he stood there before the door opened on its own, and he came face-to-face with a pretty blonde woman, who looked startled.

"Anders?" she asked, her Orlesian accent soft as a summer breeze.

"It's me, Aura. How… How are you?"

"I'm fine," she told him hesitantly, concern flashing across her face. "Are you back at Vigil's Keep, or just passing through?"

"Passing through. I'll be leaving at first light tomorrow," he finally blurted out, feeling his chest tighten. "Aura, I hate to ask, but-" She put a gentle hand on his arm, giving him a knowing smile.

"He's missed you, Anders. Come in and share supper with us before you go." The mage nodded and stepped into the small home, memories not his own assailing him: Seeing the woman who now had his arm making supper, and wrapping his arms around her waist to kiss her neck. Long nights spent reading over documents trying to figure out what the darkspawn were up to. And then there was the final one, where he was creeping through a dark wood, and then the pain of a sword strike on his back- "Anders!" Aura's concerned voice snapped him back to the present. He stumbled into the wall, Justice nearly at the forefront, the Spirit not understanding what was happening. He put his head in his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.

"Just… Give me a minute. I-"

"Mew?" The healer's heart skipped a beat as he felt something knock lightly against his legs. Looking down, he saw the familiar orange fur, slightly crooked tail, and amber eyes of the one who had been his anchor to the world for a year.

"Ser Pounce-A-Lot…" He slid down the wall, and the cat nuzzled against him, purring loudly. He stroked his fingers through Pounce's fur, smiling slightly.

"Anders," Aura said softly, kneeling in front of him. "Please tell me what's going on. Are you and Justice still all right?" He shook his head, looking up at her.

"It's all gone wrong, Aura. What we set out to do when we gave Kristoff back to you… I couldn't control it. He couldn't fight against my hate. I don't-" He choked back a sob, pulling Pounce against his chest. The cat didn't protest, and instead rubbed against his face, licking him. The healer stared up at Aura, who seemed at a loss for what to do. "I don't know who I am anymore. Forgive me…" She wrapped her arms around him like a mother would a frightened child, kissing the top of his head.

"Start at the beginning," she told him softly.

* * *

><p>Fenris was sitting at the Crown and Lion, already on his… Fourth, fifth glass of wine? He couldn't remember, and didn't much care to. Isabella and Varric were regaling people at the bar with story after story, Hawke and Merrill were cozied up in one of the rooms, Aveline and Donnic were walking around the city, and Bethany was sitting at a table with Nathaniel, both of them eating dinner. A moment later, the door opened, and two Dwarves walked in. The male was dressed in full plate mail, with bushy, red hair and a beard that was braided on either side. The female was also in armor, but it seemed more flexible. She shook her head at something her companion had said, her two short ponytails swinging over her shoulders. "Well, if it isn't Nathaniel and Little Miss Sparkler," the man said, walking over to them immediately and sitting down. Nathaniel sighed heavily and took a long swallow of ale.<p>

"Oghren, what are you and Sigrun doing here?"

"Well, when we heard you were running off to Kirkwall to find Sparkle-fingers, we thought we might meet you here." He began looking around at all the mages in the inn, confusion on his face. "So uh, where is he?"

"We don't know," Bethany said, shaking her head. Nathaniel snorted and stood, eyes narrowing at Oghren.

"Nor do I care. And if you two are here, then someone needs to return to the Vigil to make sure that everything is running smoothly."

"Come on Nathaniel, the Keep'll be safe for a few nights," the Dwarf argued, swiping the archer's ale and downing it in one gulp. He let out a belch, and Bethany stood, casting a quick glance at Fenris before following Nathaniel outside.

"Tell my brother he's welcome at Vigil's Keep," she said as the Elf nodded. He then went back to staring at his wine glass, when the female Dwarf sat down across from him. She just sat staring at him until he looked over and frowned.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"Since you know Bethany, I take it you're from Kirkwall?"

"I… Lived there for a number of years, yes."

"Did you know Anders?" Fenris looked down, and she smiled softly. "Sorry. Seems whatever happened has everyone mad at him."

"That is an understatement where your companion is concerned. I believe the rest of us are more in shock as to what occurred in the city."

"If you don't mind me asking, what **did** happen?"

"Anders…" He downed the rest of his glass and rested his head in his hands. "He blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall with some sort of magick none of us had ever seen. The Grand Cleric and other innocents were killed in the… Explosion."

"Did he say why he did it?" Sigrun did not seemed surprised or bothered by the revelation, and he looked up at her. For the first time, he noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes, and the tight lines around her mouth. She wasn't old by any means, but she seemed it. How much death had this woman seen?

"He said that the oppression of mages needed to end, and that war was the only way to get everyone's attention."

"And do you agree with him?" Fenris frowned, staring at the markings on his arms for a moment.

"I was raised in Tevinter, saw the abuses committed by magisters every day. But here, it seemed that the Chantry had things under control. In Kirkwall, there were no duels in the streets between rival magisters. Blood magick was not a normal thing to see. And it seemed that most mages were perfectly willing to accept their situation." Sigrun nodded, and then sat forward and rested her chin on her hands.

"Did Anders ever tell you what happened to him in the Circle? How he tried to escape so many times, and eventually ended up with the Grey Wardens?"

"He mentioned a few things, but did not like to talk much about the Wardens. After your Commander left, he said everything changed." She shrugged and sighed.

"It did. Commander Cousland kept us all united to destroy the remaining darkspawn. Anyone who wanted to help was given an opportunity. Anders and I often traveled with the Commander, and he slowly started to explain things to us about the Circle, and what happened behind closed doors. I'm not sure who was more angry: The Commander, or Justice." That caught Fenris' attention, and his eyes widened.

"Justice? The Spirit?" Sigrun smiled and leaned back in her chair.

"Yeah. He was complicated to figure out, but once you got to know him, he was a really interesting… Person. He and Anders used to get into really deep conversations about what they would do to free mages from the Circle. Anders hadn't wanted anything to do with that at first, but Justice eventually convinced him that it was the right thing to do." She sat forward again, the smile now wiped from her face, and eyes looking haunted. "Tell me: Is it true what happened? Bethany told us that Justice and Anders merged, but that our Spirit friend sometimes lost control and called himself "Vengeance". I… I just feel like there's something I should do to help him." Fenris nodded, feeling his chest tighten as his mind went back to the scene just before the Chantry had exploded.

"It is true. And Anders blames himself for twisting Justice into that. He once told me that no amount of good that he does could ever make him forgive himself." Sigrun nodded, looking concerned not just for her fellow Warden, but for the Elf as well.

"Not to get too personal, but… How close are you?" The warrior sat back and narrowed his eyes slightly, but the Dwarf merely stared back at him, unblinking.

"We were lovers." She nodded, getting up and walking over to him, laying a careful hand on his arm.

"Don't leave him alone. If Justice really has been changed, then Anders needs someone to be there for him. To pull him back up like the Commander did."

"Wait, where they lovers as well?" She shook her head, smiling a bit at the thought of the healer and the prince-consort together like that.

"No. Commander Cousland considered us all family. He treated Nathaniel and Anders like his brothers, and me like a little sister. Oghren and Justice were like the odd uncles, and Velanna just seemed to be our black sheep. Anytime Anders got into trouble, the Commander was there to help however he could."

"That's what Hawke- Bethany's brother did."

"He still needs someone to love him." Fenris met her gaze and blinked, immediately looking away.

"He killed innocent people. All for the sake of his cause."

"I never said it would be easy. But right now, he's suffering just as much as you are, I bet. Anders never liked killing. Even when we faced Templars, he only wanted them to leave him alone."

"That point of view was the first to go after the… Merge." Sigrun nodded, and then looked over at Oghren, who was standing at the door, tapping his foot.

"Just think about what I said. Don't let Anders leave Amaranthine before talking to him. If you do, you'll regret it the rest of your life." Then she was gone, and Isabella came over, raising an eyebrow.

"She's a cute one, for a Dwarf."

"She's a Warden. We were talking about the mage."

"So is everyone else," the pirate added with a shrug. She sat down in the seat Sigrun had been using, leaning back and putting her feet on the table. "Listen, I'm not sure what you're going to be doing, but Varric and I have a plan."

"A plan for what?" The pirate winked and grinned.

"For staying out of the reach of the Chantry. Hawke and Merrill are coming with me aboard my ship, as are any mages who want to. Varric, Aveline, and Donnic are going to be leading the rest to Ferelden. We all figure that Anders will just head somewhere else, and you would follow." Fenris snorted and gave her a sideways glance.

"What makes you so certain I want anything to do with him?" Isabella's grin just got wider, and she wagged a finger at him.

"Because I know you, and him. Anyway, the plan is to lay low for a year, and then meet in Rivain. It's about the most neutral territory, and accessible from land or sea." Fenris nodded, seeing the wisdom in the idea.

"I do not yet know what I am doing." Isabella stood, ruffling his hair as she turned back towards the bar.

"Fenris, I may be petty and shallow, but trust me on this: Don't let him slip away. He loves you, and you love him. Keep Anders safe, and he'll never give up on you."

"You talk like Kirkwall never happened. Like I can just push that aside."

"You both need to live with what happened. Anders will probably see the faces of those he killed every time he dreams. You will just have to decide if the man you love is still in there, or if there's only Vengeance now." With that, she walked off, and Fenris was left to his own thoughts again. And now he replayed every conversation he'd ever had with the blonde, searching for a clue that might've told him what the healer had been planning. But nearly every talk they'd had since getting together had been Fenris discussing his past, and the mage listening patiently and offering what comfort he could. And the Elf realized that he'd never really asked about Anders' past. There had been plenty of opportunity, but he had always figured the man would talk when he was ready.

"I am a fool," he whispered, finally looking up. However, much time seemed to have passed. There was almost no one in the room except the bartender, a serving girl, and Isabella. Light was starting to peek through the windows, and the Elf sighed heavily. The pirate caught his eye, and he stood and nodded at her.

"One year. You and the others had better be there." Then he was gone, racing through the streets and praying he could either find Anders before he left, or catch him on the road. He wasn't about to let the best thing in his life slip away again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Anders shivered as he pulled the cloak tighter around his shoulders. How long had he been on the road now? Two weeks? Three? He'd left Amaranthine right after dinner with Aura, wanting to leave the city before anyone figured out who he was. That he'd left without saying goodbye to any of his friends, or Fenris… _'They were a distraction,'_ Justice chimed in.

"Distractions I cared a great deal about," the mage replied bitterly.

_'They were slowing you down. You have come far without them. Though I still do not know why you wish to go to Tevinter.'_

"I keep telling you: Refuge. Tevinter won't care what I've done if they do figure me out, and I'm a mage. Besides…" Anders hung his head and sighed heavily. "No one will go looking for me there."

_'It is better that way.'_ The healer was about to retort, when he felt something kneading his shoulder.

"Oh, you're awake," he said with a grin, lifting his cloak up until he met Ser-Pounce-A-Lot's eyes, which were slightly narrowed. "Sorry, I'll be quieter." The cat purred loudly, rubbing his face against Anders', and the man smiled.

_'Why do you always do what that creature wants?'_

"Because he's old, and he keeps me sane."

_'And I do not?'_ Anders made a face, rolled his eyes, and sighed.

"You don't want my answer to that, Justice."

Fenris cursed for what seemed like the hundredth time as another chill wind swept over him. He'd been on Anders' trail for weeks now, and only knew they were getting dangerously close to the Imperium. What was the mage thinking, heading into Tevinter? Was he hoping to avoid the war that was slowly beginning to creep across Thedas thanks to his actions? Perhaps he was under the impression that no one would seek him out there? Whatever his motivations, Fenris needed to find him before he got into trouble. That he had left the same evening they'd arrived in Amaranthine had nearly spelled disaster, but the Elf had become very good at tracking over the years spent with Hawke. However, he was still at least a day or so behind the former Warden, and the weather wasn't making it any easier to stay on his trail. Snow was in the air; he could practically smell it. He needed to meet up with Anders, before the storm set in and tracking would become impossible. Fenris sighed, and looked up at the gray sky. "I'm not sure if you exist, but if you do… Maker, Andraste, or whatever deity might be watching… Help me find him. Keep him safe. If anything happens to him now, I will never forgive myself."

Trekking through the wilderness was not something the man had envisioned he would be doing again. However, he'd made a promise to track down the fugitive Anders, no matter what that might entail. "Prince Sebastian," one of his men called, armor rattling as he came up alongside his leader.

"What is it?"

"It appears a snowstorm is fast approaching. We should make camp before it hits." Sebastian frowned and nodded. As much as he wanted justice to be served as soon as possible, the safety of his men and himself came first. Besides, they more than likely had the element of surprise still, as Anders could not be aware of their presence. Every village they'd trekked through had reported seeing the man pass through, but he'd only stayed in some long enough to get meager supplies before heading out. However, some people had reported a tattooed Elf also tracking the mage, and the Prince wasn't sure how to take that news. Was Fenris trying to find and reunite with the healer, or was he looking for him to exact his own type of vengeance? Not that it mattered if it was the former, as the men he had with him would more than be a match for the warrior. And the squad of Templars that had come with them from Kirkwall would be able to handle the mage and his demon. Sebastian bristled at the thought of that creature roaming unchecked, and that Hawke had known all along about him.

"I swear to the Maker, if you stand in my way Fenris, I will not hesitate to kill you as well. Anders will not escape justice. Not again."

The snow was really starting to become deep, and Anders was thankful he'd found a cave for shelter. He just prayed that if this had been a bear's home, it was long gone from the area by now. Pounce was curled up on his bedroll, sleeping peacefully. That was good, because he was going to need to get more firewood, and he didn't want the cat getting lost in the drifts. Anders tugged the cloak he'd gotten at the last village tight around him, took a deep breath, and set off. He headed for a stand of trees he'd passed earlier, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. It wouldn't do for him to run into an animal or a group of bandits. Not that either would necessarily be a problem for him. Making it to the trees, he started digging at the base of the trunks, pulling out whatever fallen branches he could find. After a little over an hour, he had a sizeable amount in his pack, and hopefully it would last for the night. Now to get back and make sure Ser-Pounce-A-Lot didn't freeze. However, as he turned to head back, there came a howl that sent chills up his spine. Wolves. And they appeared to have found something. Well, as long as it wasn't him, he would- "Venhedis!" he heard someone cry out, which was followed by the yelp of a wolf. The healer's blood turned to ice as he felt the color drain from his face. There was only one person that that voice could belong to…

"Fenris!" he yelled, running blindly in the direction of the sounds. After a few minutes he came across a scene that set his heart dropping into his stomach: Fenris was surrounded by a pack of wolves, and the warrior had already taken a few hits from the creatures. Bite marks marred his left forearm and leg, and deep scratches were in his chest plate. However, the pack had suffered casualties in the form of two members lying dead at the Elf's feet. Fire sprang to life in the mage's hand as he pulled his staff from his back. "Hang on, I'm coming!" Fenris looked up, startled, and Anders realized he should have kept his mouth shut. One of the wolves leapt onto the Elf, jaws snapping mere inches from his head. Fenris managed to get his sword between himself and the wolf, but he was knocked onto his back, the large animal pressing him into the snow. Anders wasted no time in throwing a barrier of fire between the Elf and the rest of the pack, who whimpered and whined at the sight of the flames. Then he ran towards the fight happening on the ground, spirit fire beginning to circle his form. One incantation sent the wolf sprawling, and the next froze it solid. As the fire died down and the other wolves saw him standing in front of the Elf, they began backing up, growling and snarling. If Anders had to guess, he'd more than likely taken out the alpha. However, he kept his eyes on the pack, ready to repel them if they initiated another attack. After a few more minutes of growling and whining, the wolves seemed to come to the consensus that this was more than they could handle, and took off howling. Anders let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and turned his attention back to Fenris. The Elf was still lying on the ground, breathing heavily. The mage was by his side in an instant, magick sinking into his skin to detect the worst of the injuries. Nothing was broken, and there seemed to be no permanent damage despite the bite wounds. But he was suffering from the early stages of hypothermia, and Anders needed to get him warm soon. Fenris looked up at him, blinking.

"Anders?" he asked softly, looking confused.

"Of course it's me. Do you know any other devilishly handsome mages that would save you?" he shot back with a forced grin. Fenris smiled and closed his eyes.

"Glad I found you…" He lapsed into unconsciousness, and Anders sighed and shook his head. At least he knew his lover wasn't going to try and kill him. Well, he was mostly sure of that. But he'd worry about that later. Right now he needed to get back to the cave, warm him up, and tend to his injuries. Carefully picking up the shorter man, he began walking, boots crunching in the snow.

"I hope Ser-Pounce-A-Lot and you get along," he mused.

Fenris came to with a start, eyes snapping open as his heart thudded in his chest. It was dark wherever he was, and he could hear the wind outside howling. No doubt the storm had hit hard, but he was warm, and the arm around his waist was- Arm? He shifted, holding his breath as he turned over. In the dim light from the nearly-dead fire, he could make out Anders' face. Come to think of it, he did remember being aided in his fight with the wolves by the healer. He must've passed out after the fight, and Anders had apparently gotten him to shelter. A smile curled his lips as he brought up a hand to trace the other man's jaw. Anders stirred and opened his eyes, blinking for a moment. "How are you feeling?" he asked, concern flashing across his face.

"Warm," the Elf replied. "Which is a welcome change from the past week."

"Did it ever occur to you to, I don't know, put on more clothes?" Fenris frowned and sat up, and it was then that he realized that his armor had been removed.

"Bulky clothes slow me down," he shot back.

"Never mind that you'd freeze long before you needed to worry about fighting."

"And it's not my fault that you're heading north during winter!" The mage crossed his arms and sighed.

"I didn't ask you to follow me, you know."

"I gathered that from the fact that you left in the middle of the night. Why didn't you say anything?"

"You would have refused to come if I'd told you where I was headed." Fenris got to his feet and began pacing, shivering a bit as the cold began seeping back into his bones. Anders watched him in silence.

"You're heading to Tevinter, aren't you?" The healer nodded. "**Why**? What could possibly be there that you would want to go?"

"You wouldn't-" Fenris grabbed his shoulders and glared at him.

"Mage, if you say "you wouldn't understand" to me, I will hurt you." Anders squirmed in his grip, and then Fenris heard a hiss right before a stinging pain tore across his right hand. He pulled back as a furry shape moved out from the blankets, growling.

"Ser-Pounce-A-Lot, no!" Anders chastised, grabbing the angry feline. He stroked the cat's back until he calmed down, but Fenris could still feel its eyes on him. "Sorry, he's a bit protective of me."

"You brought your cat with you?" Anders shifted and shrugged, shaking his head.

"More like he followed me. He got into my pack, and I didn't realize it until I stopped to camp the next night. I didn't want to risk going back, in case people were already looking for me, and I don't want to just leave him in a random village. Maybe when we get to the Imperium, I'll find a nice child to leave him with." Fenris stared at the cat, blinking for a moment. "Is your hand all right?"

"Nothing that is life-threatening." It was silent in the cave except for the wind outside and the cat's purring. Fenris sat down, sighing heavily. "Why did you not tell me your plan to leave Ferelden? And why did you not tell me what you intended to do in Kirkwall?" Anders looked down, hands idly petting Pounce.

"I don't know. I figured you'd never go along with my plan. Either of them."

"So you made the choice for me? Like Danarius used to do?" The healer's head shot up, and now he was glaring at the Elf.

"I am **nothing** like him, Fenris! I didn't want you to get caught up in anything, that's all. You hate Tevinter, and I knew that blowing up the Chantry would start a war. I wanted you as far removed from that as possible."

"You believed the burden was yours alone to bear?"

"Yes!" Anders cried, tears now in his eyes. "No one else needed to fall with me. I never would have forgiven myself if something happened to you, Hawke, or any of our friends. And then when Bethany and Nathaniel showed up, I just knew that I'd made a mess of things. I'm sure everyone hates me now."

"I think we're all still just trying to understand," Fenris replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I cannot speak for the others, but I do not hate you."

"I know," Anders told him, voice almost a whisper. "You wouldn't have tracked me down weeks after the fact if you didn't. Although the thought did cross my mind that you were just coming to kill me."

"If I were going to do that, Anders, you'd be dead already." The healer's breath hitched for a moment, and then he pulled the Elf closer, letting Pounce jump onto the bedroll. Fenris froze momentarily before wrapping his arms around the other man and holding him for a while.

"I'm sorry. I never meant-"

"Sh, it's over now. We will seek refuge somewhere, and meet the others in Rivain in slightly less than a year. That was the plan Isabella told me, anyway."

"Rivain? That sounds nice. Somewhere warm, where the sea breeze can be felt all day. Much better than a stuffy Imperium city." The mage laughed to himself, and Fenris chuckled as well.

"Agreed. Once the storm passes, perhaps we should shift course?"

"As long as you're here, I don't care where we go," Anders told him. "Come on, let's get back to sleep. Hopefully by the time we wake up, the snow will have stopped."

"Is your cat going to let me be near you?" The healer took his hand, power flowing through him as the scratches from Pounce quickly closed.

"Just… Mind your manners, and he'll be fine." The two men snuggled back under the blanket, Anders with his arms wrapped tightly around the Elf. Fenris relaxed for the first time in weeks, breathing a silent thank you that his prayer had been answered.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day saw the snow stop, and Anders poked his head out of the cave, blinking in the bright sunlight. "Seems safe enough to travel," he said, looking back at Fenris. However, as he did, he began laughing. The Elf was wearing his cloak, and seemed swamped by the material. His head barely cleared the ring of fur around the collar, and he was glaring at the mage as much as he could.

"Not. One Word," he threatened, coming up next to Anders. The healer nodded, hand over his mouth as he tried to stifle the snickers. "And what will you be wearing? It's still freezing out, and that coat will not keep you warm enough."

"This," Anders replied, holding up his Grey Warden blanket and tying it around his neck like a cape. "Maybe we'll find a village not too far back, and they'll have lodging and a cloak that better suits you."

"Maybe." As the men hefted their packs and set off, Pounce leapt onto Anders' shoulder, snuggling under the blanket until he looked like a fuzzy orange hump. Fenris shook his head as the mage briefly stroked the cat's back. "At least you're happier. Seems that creature has its uses."

"He, Fenris, and his name is Ser-Pounce-A-Lot."

"I hope you don't expect **me** to call him that." The healer looked over and frowned, looking so much like a pouting child that the Elf started to chuckle.

"Then how are you going to refer to him?"

"I believe "Cat" will be adequate."

"That would be like me calling you "Elf", or you calling me "Human". It doesn't exactly sound right."

"I used to call you "mage". That sufficed at the time." Fenris looked over, and Anders' pout now reached his eyes, which were slightly downcast.

"You called me that as an insult, remember?" Fenris sighed and put a hand on the healer's shoulder that wasn't occupied by Pounce.

"Did it really bother you that much?"

"Before we got together, I never paid much attention. I am a mage, and I just figured you were trying to get a rise out of me. Seeing as how you never called Merrill "blood mage", and every so often would throw in "abomination" when you were talking to me. But after everything happened, and you started actually saying my name…" Anders stopped walking, leaning on his staff for a moment. "I got used to it, and so when we were on the ship, and you called me "mage", it… It hurt. I can't really describe it, but I guess it would be like me calling you a slave." Fenris swallowed hard and nodded, hand slipping off Anders' shoulder. However, the human caught his hand before he could slip it under the cloak, and he gently squeezed it. "But it's all right now."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're here, Ser-Pounce-A-Lot is here, it's a beautiful day, and we are free men headed to Rivain."

"That's where you're wrong, Anders." Both of them froze as a group of armed and armored people approached from their right. And leading the group, with his bow at the ready, was the Prince of Starkhaven himself.

"Leave us in peace," Fenris commanded, eyes narrowing as he went for his sword. However, the cloak was going to get in the way of him drawing it, and he cursed under his breath for allowing Anders to talk him into wearing it. Sebastian scowled and pointed a finger at the mage as the people with him put their hands on their weapons.

"Peace? Thanks to him, Kirkwall will not know peace for a while, and the entirety of the Free Marshes is on the brink of war. Who knows how long before this madness reaches the rest of Thedas?"

"No one else needs to die, Sebastian," Anders told him, tugging on Fenris' cloak as he began backing up.

"You're right about that, abomination!" The bow was suddenly lifted, but Anders threw up a barrier to deflect the arrow, and then unleashed a hail of ice at the group.

"Run!" he yelled, grabbing the Elf and racing back the way they had come. Too soon he heard the thud and clang of armor, and knew they were being pursued.

"This is ridiculous!" Fenris called out. "We must stand and fight!"

"Are you mad? He's got Templars with him, and-"

_'The Elf is right.'_

_'Oh Maker, not you too! No Justice, we are not going to commit suicide by throwing ourselves at Sebastian and his group. Those who fight and run away-'_

_'Are cowards! Turn and fight, Anders! Fenris will stand with you.'_

_'For the love of Andraste's flaming knickers, **no**! I don't care-'_

"Anders!" Fenris' startled voice smashed into his argument, and he turned to see what was the matter. His eyes widened as he saw an arrow protruding out of the Elf's shoulder, and the Prince's group gaining on them. Worse yet, what was in front of them was a steep drop into a tangle of trees and brush that stretched below them for quite a while. They were cornered, but the healer wasn't just going to lay down and die. He got in front of Fenris, staff out in a defensive position as the armored attackers came forward. Apparently the Templars were a little slower than the regular fighters, and he managed to throw them all back with a quick fireball, followed by a spirit bolt. He kept backing up until he felt Fenris grab his arm, probably meaning he was at the edge of the drop-off. The healer shook his other arm, and Pounce dropped into the snow, hissing.

"Fenris, start down that incline. I'll follow you as soon as I can."

"I'm not leaving-"

"You're injured. Let me handle this. Take Ser-Pounce-A-Lot and go."

"And what will you be doing?"

"Covering your escape. Now hurry!" However, at least one Templar had recovered from his earlier onslaught, and he caught the glow of a sword only a moment before a holy smite swept over him. Anders swayed on his feet, the dizziness that always accompanied a complete mana drain blurring his vision for a moment. It was then that Justice decided enough was enough, and manifested. He raced forward, knocking the lead Templar off his feet and plunging the blade of his staff through the armor. Behind him, Fenris had shed the cloak and drawn his blade, attacking as well. But the pain of his wound was slowing down his reactions, and it was all he could do to defend himself as two armored fighters went after him. Justice paid little attention to the Elf, his focus on the leader of the party: Sebastian. The Prince kept firing arrows at the Spirit, but they seemed to either bounce off him, or burn to ash before they reached his body. As Justice got past his last guard, the former Chantry brother held his ground, eyes narrowed.

"I will not let you intimidate me, abomination!"

"**I would rather see you dead than cowering!**"

"I have the Maker as my shield and strength! You cannot harm me!" Justice was in his face a moment later, sneering.

"**The Maker? Do not make me laugh, mortal. He does not care about your petty squabbles any more than you care about ants moving underfoot.**"

"Liar!" Sebastian pushed at him, though it was a feeble attempt, considering the Spirit's power when angered. However, Anders was trying to regain control, his concern for Fenris threatening to overwhelm Justice.

_'Stop this at once!'_ he ordered.

_'Be silent, Anders! I will kill this man, and then he will never bother you again.'_

_'To the Void with the Choir-boy, get Fenris to safety!'_

'You may see to the Elf when this is-' A surprised shout snapped them both back to the outside world, and Anders had regained control. But what he saw sent a chill up his spine: One of the Templars was standing at the edge of the drop-off, staring down at something. The sound of something hitting the underbrush could be heard, as well as curses in Tevinter. The healer forgot about the fight entirely and ran to the edge as well, looking down in horror.

"**Fenris**!" he screamed, heart racing and breath coming in quick gasps. He turned to the Templar, desperately wishing he had his magick. "You bast-" And then he felt a shooting pain in his side, and the world went white for a moment as his vision blurred again. A hand was on his shoulder, and someone had their mouth pressed to his ear.

"Maker curse you, abomination. Elthina has gotten her vengeance." There was a shove, and he was staring at the trees for just a second before falling to the ground and feeling his body hit into things on the way down the slope. Sebastian stood at the top, chest heaving as he watched the mage's body tumble down into the trees, hearing it smack into bushes and other solid objects. A hissing sound grabbed his attention, and he glanced at his feet to see the orange cat that had been with Anders. The animal's fur was up, and it was glaring at him with enough hatred that the Prince shivered a little. One of the Templars bent down to get it, but the cat swiped at his hand and then skittered down the slope, growling and spitting the whole way. Sebastian turned to the remaining group, which was intact save for three members. "Mission accomplished. But let's find a safe way around and retrieve their bodies. I want that abomination's head on display at the Grand Cathedral. No one defies the Maker and lives."

"Yes sir!" his people said, heading down the path as they looked for an easier way down. Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief that his nightmare was finally over.

* * *

><p>Anders came to with the realization that everything hurt. His head was pounding, his arms and legs felt heavy, and his side felt like it was on fire. At least he could breathe normally. And something was rubbing against his hand. He opened his eyes and saw Pounce pushing at him with his head. And a little past the cat, he could see the still form of Fenris. That spurred him to action, and he sat up, clutching his side as the pain there intensified. He ignored it as best he could, crawling over to the Elf and carefully turning him onto his side. The wound in his shoulder was still bleeding, but as he looked at it, Anders realized that the warrior had apparently pulled the arrow out. "Impatient… Idiot…" he swore, just happy to see the rise and fall of his lover's chest. He tried to channel mana, but nothing responded to his command, and he curled his hand into a fist. Sebastian was going to pay for this.<p>

_'Anders, you are injured,'_ Justice spoke up, sounding concerned.

"So is Fenris. I'll be fine."

_'No, you must not exert yourself. You have-'_ Anders ground his teeth in annoyance. He did not have the patience right now.

"Justice, shut up. I need to help Fenris, not listen to you. In fact, if you would just leave me alone for the rest of my life, that would be great." He felt the Spirit pull back, both in surprise and distress.

_'You… You don't truly mean that, do you?'_

"Shut up and let me work!" Tugging at the blanket still around his neck (and happy that he hadn't been strangled by it on the way down), the healer pressed it against the Elf's injury, slowing the bleeding. Then he reached down and tore a piece of his shirt off, making a bandage to tie around the wound as best he could. His vision was becoming hazy, but he needed to make sure Fenris wouldn't have any permanent damage until his magick returned. He could feel Justice at the back of his mind, concern still seeping off the Spirit. Ignoring both that and his own pain as best he could, he started to prop Fenris against a tree. However, that sent a shooting pain through him, and he curled up, hand pressed to his side as he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Something was very wrong, and he didn't have any way of figuring out what it was without his magick. Darkness started to eat away at his vision, but he tried to fight it off. He needed to stay awake; needed to make sure that Fenris was all right. He needed… He had to…

* * *

><p>"Mother, Mother, come quick!" the boy called as he stared into a section of undergrowth. They'd been patrolling the borders of their land as practice, but the child had never dreamed he'd find something. Let alone something so interesting. His mother came walking up, shaking her head and looking bothered.<p>

"Great spirits, child, what is all the fuss about?" she demanded, yellow eyes seeming to stare into his very soul. He refused to look away, instead pointing at what he had found. The woman came closer, staff up in case whatever he'd found was about to strike. It was then that she heard something mewl, and peered closer. There was a man lying on the ground, blood staining the hand that was on his side. Next to him she saw a fat, orange cat that was watching the newcomers with suspicion. Beside the man lay an Elf covered in markings- Were those lyrium? He appeared to also be injured, as if they had fallen from the top of the slope. "Bandits? Unwary Travelers? Leave them."

"But Mother, look at this." The boy stepped past the Elf to grab at a large, rumpled piece of cloth. But when he held it up, and she saw the griffons embroidered on the gray fabric, her eyes widened.

"Uther, get your father." He started to say something, but she stepped forward, eyes flashing. "I said **now**! Make haste, boy!" He nodded and took off running as she shook her head at the two unconscious men. "Wardens. Connor is not going to like this."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Fenris awoke with a start, sitting up quickly, and then instantly regretting it as his vision swam and his head felt like it was about to crack in two. He groaned, pressing his hands to his temples, taking deep breaths until he could think straight. There was also a dull throb in his right shoulder from where he'd wrenched the arrow out, but his head hurt worse at the moment. "Father, he's awake!" a small voice called out, and the Elf glanced up. Standing at the end of his bed was a young boy with short-cropped black hair and bright sapphire-blue eyes, dressed in clothes that reminded the warrior of the nobles of the Imperium. Fenris frowned and stared at the child, who squirmed a bit under his gaze, but did not look away.

"Who are you?" The boy swallowed and was about to retort, when another voice reached Fenris' ears:

"Uther, go see your mother." A man was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. Though his clothes were also of noble cut, they seemed more practical, as if he were a bodyguard or someone used to actual weapons. His dark-brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, and his piercing eyes were the same color as the boy's. He had curving tattoos that ran down both sides of his face, reminiscent of some of the Dalish markings, but he was decidedly human. After the boy had left the room, he spoke again: "I'll start simple: Who are you?"

"My name is Fenris. Who are you?"

"Connor Cousland. What brought you to my lands, Fenris?" Something about that name sparked a memory, but the Elf's head was hurting far too much for him to care.

"An accident. My companion and I fell down a slope, and must've been found by your guards." Fear started to creep up on the warrior now. Why was he still injured? Where was Anders? "Where is-"

"The mage?" Connor interrupted, uncrossing his arms and walking a bit into the room. "Still unconscious. Now we'll get to the tough questions: What are you doing with my healer, and where is the rest of his Grey Warden unit?" And now the pieces fell into place, and Fenris felt both relief and apprehension at this turn of events.

"Your healer? Then you are his Commander?"

"I was," Connor acknowledged with a nod. "But that was years ago. Where are Nathaniel, Oghren, or Sigrun? I'll even settle for Justice or Velanna being with you." At the mention of the Spirit's name, the Elf frowned and sighed heavily.

"Anders has not been a Warden since a little before I met him." The other man stared at him, trying to make sense of that sentence.

"You can't leave the Wardens."

"You did," a husky voice said from the door. Both men looked up to see a woman with black hair, yellow eyes like a hawk, and dressed in robes of rich red and black. Fenris' markings tingled, and he was betting that even if she wasn't a blood mage, this woman knew powerful magick. Connor frowned and shook his head.

"I followed you to be with our son, Morrigan. But I am still part of the Wardens, regardless of how far from them I am."

"And where exactly is that?" Fenris demanded.

"Our estate on the outskirts of Marothius. We keep to ourselves and take in… Refugees, you could say."

"We take in strays because you feel sorry for them," Morrigan shot back.

"They have nowhere else to go, love! And you know I hate slavery."

"The Dreamer I can understand, since he is fairly powerful. But that Elf who wandered in last month? She cannot do the simplest things, as if she is terrified of me!" Connor smirked and walked over to the woman, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Well you must admit, you **are** a force to be reckoned with when you're angry." She sighed and gave him a feral grin.

"I suppose you have a point."

"If you two are done discussing your private matters, I would like to know what you've done with Anders." Both humans turned back to the Elf, and Connor raised an eyebrow. "He is here, isn't he?"

"First, you're going to tell me exactly what happened." The warrior narrowed his eyes at the other man, then huffed and looked at his lap.

"We were attacked by Templars on the road."

"Templars? Here? They will not find hospitality or aid on our lands," Morrigan seethed, hands on her hips.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Connor coaxed, standing by the bed now.

"After we were attacked? I was pushed down the hill, where I blacked out. Anders was uninjured when I last saw him. What happened to him?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," the Warden replied. "He's unconscious, and neither Morrigan or our son are healers. The one that we do have is still not very skilled." Fenris threw the covers off, setting his feet on the floor and standing in one fluid motion. His vision blurred as he swayed, and Connor caught him before he toppled to the ground. "Hey now, that's not a good idea!"

"Take me to him," Fenris whispered, desperation in his voice. The other man pursed his lips and finally nodded.

"Very well." Morrigan watched them slowly make their way out of the room and down a short hallway. Fenris braced himself on the doorframe, eyes wide when he saw the blonde lying in the bed. Whether it was lyrium speed or his own body, the Elf was by his lover's side an instant later, carefully pulling the covers off him. His shirt was torn at the bottom, and a large bloodstain was on the left side. Tugging the fabric up, Fenris saw that bandages were wrapped around his torso; high enough that the word carved into him not even a year ago was visible. Anders was pale, his thin frame shaking slightly. Sweat had plastered his hair to his forehead, and his eyes twitched beneath closed lids. What was he dreaming about that he looked so frightened?

"How long?"

"A little over a day," Connor told him, arms clasped behind his back. "As I said, we were hoping you could tell us what was wrong. Other than the wound in his side and those… Scars, there should be no reason why he's still unconscious. I've seen worse wounds on an Elf who recovered completely, and he wasn't even a Warden."

"You haven't tried to wake him?"

"Morrigan and Feynriel, another mage we took in, say it's dangerous." Fenris turned and stared at the man, eyes wide.

"Feynriel? Blonde boy? From Kirkwall? Half-human?"

"Aye, that's him. I take it you know him?" Fenris felt himself nodding.

"Anders and some of our companions helped him a few years ago. I did not understand everything, but it had something to do with the Fade and Demons."

"Serrah Hawke and the others helped me overcome my nightmares," a new voice said. Both men turned, and Fenris beheld a young man, clearly of Elven blood, standing in the room. His dirty-blonde hair was pulled back, and he wore not a robe, but a more practical outfit of pants, shirt, and vest. "Greetings, Serrah Fenris."

"Please, I do not need a title. Fenris will suffice," the warrior replied, shaking his head. "This is where you came after leaving Kirkwall?"

"No, I actually went to Minrathous, but it was… Not for me. I learned what I could, and then left the service of the magister who first found me. I've only been with Lord Cousland a year."

"Morrigan is very intrigued by his ability to control the Fade. That, and the lad is a quick learner," Connor praised as Feynriel ducked his head and blushed.

"Mastering my abilities means I can one day return to my mother and her people." Fenris' gaze drifted back to Anders. If he was in the Fade, maybe Feynriel-

"By the way," Connor interrupted his thoughts. "I need to know something."

"What is it?" The Warden pointed to the letters that had been carved into the healer's stomach, eyes going cold.

"Did you kill the bastards who did this to him?" Fenris smiled, but it was a decidedly cruel smile.

"They paid for their mistake of harming him. Though I did not agree at the time, the Spirit took its vengeance on the Templar leader who ordered it." Connor nodded, and then blinked. What had the Elf just said?

"What Spirit?" Fenris mentally cursed himself. Why had he assumed that the man would know of the merge, when earlier he had referred to the Spirit as a separate entity?

"He… Called it Justice." Now the Warden's eyes popped out of his head, and he turned to Feynriel.

"Leave us," he ordered. The boy nodded, quickly leaving and closing the door behind him. When they were alone, Connor nodded at the unconscious mage. "I need to know everything that you do of what happened to my healer, and apparently our Fade Spirit. And I mean **everything**." Fenris nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed as Connor grabbed a chair from the corner of the room.

"Most of it is unpleasant," the Elf prefaced, placing a gentle hand over one of Anders', curling their fingers together. Sebastian would pay for this.

"I'm sure I've heard worse. It's Anders and Justice. How much trouble could they have gotten into?" Again, Fenris gave the man a cruel smile.

"A lot."

* * *

><p>Connor stood on the terrace that was connected to the master bedroom, staring at the woods that surrounded the estate. At his feet slept a Mabari, the son of his late companion. Uther was sitting in a chair near him, looking over a spell book. Morrigan came up behind her lover, running her hand lightly across his back. "What troubles you?"<p>

"If even half of what Fenris told me is true, I've been a horrible Commander."

"Connor, you could not have know what that idiot would do." The man raised an eyebrow and shook his head. He knew merging with a Spirit, even a benevolent one, was not something Morrigan would ever do. The risk of losing oneself was too great.

"Anders was always rash, and Justice wouldn't have understood all the risks of what he was doing. But if I had been there, been able to talk them out of it-"

"Father, you can't blame yourself," Uther spoke up, looking at him. "All mages are taught the dangers of doing what Anders did, or least should be. What he thought would happen is largely irrelevant, given what actually happened."

"Well-spoken, Uther," Morrigan praised. "And let this be a lesson as to why no denizen of the Fade should ever get close to you."

"Yes Mother," he replied, going back to reading. Connor sighed and leaned on the low wall, closing his eyes to think better. He couldn't go back and change what had happened, but perhaps there was a way to fix things now…

"Love, you said Anders was more than likely trapped in the Fade, right?"

"So it seems," she replied with a shrug. "Whether it is this Justice's doing, a Demon's work, or that his mind is more broken than his body, I cannot say."

"Would we be able to get to him?" Morrigan frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was dreading the end result of this conversation.

"It is possible, though highly risky, that Feynriel could get you to the section of the Fade where Anders' mind is. But you would need a mage to go with you."

"And I take it you're not volunteering?" He opened his eyes and gave her a knowing smile, even as she narrowed her eyes in slight annoyance.

"Do I look stupid?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

"No love, you just look beautiful and deadly. But I'll talk to Fenris and see if he'd be willing to come with me. And perhaps Feynriel can contact this Hawke somehow and get his assistance."

"This sounds like another fool adventure." Connor grinned and shrugged.

"You know me, Morrigan: Just another mess for the Hero to get involved with."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Fenris had not left Anders' bed since being brought to it. He awoke when he felt something brush against his face, blinking a few times. What he saw was the cat staring at him, its tail lightly hitting into him. It must've been roaming the house when he first saw Anders, or was very good at hiding its chubby frame. "Have you accepted me then?" he asked aloud, and then immediately rolled his eyes. Here he was, talking to an animal like he expected an answer. Part of him was glad the healer was asleep, or he'd never have heard the end of this. However, Pounce stood and stretched, walking up the bed towards Anders' head, and curling up next to it. His eyes were on the Elf, and Fenris could swear it was almost a pleading look. "This is my fault," he whispered.

"I could argue with you there," Connor stated as he walked into the room. "But we think we can help him. That is, if you're willing to brave the Fade." The thought of it sent chills up the warrior's spine, but he again took Anders' hand and squeezed it.

"I won't abandon him." The Warden nodded and sat down in a chair.

"Good to know. Feynriel apparently managed to contact this Hawke friend of yours, and his lover. So tonight when we all sleep, he's going to round us up and take us to Anders. With any luck, it'll be a quick in, get Anders, and get out before things get messy. However…" The Elf nodded, eyes going dark for a moment.

"I will not hesitate to kill anything that is after him."

"The Fade isn't always so simple, Fenris. But at least you're prepared for a fight."

"With Hawke and Merrill, it will be almost like old times."

"I admit, the prospect of working with a group again brings back memories. Not all of them good, mind you, but I've been getting rusty staying here."

"Anders had nothing but praise for you. The few times he spoke of the Wardens, it was about you and your various abilities." Fenris looked down and blushed slightly. "I admit, there were times I was a bit jealous of the… Legend of the Warden Commander." Connor blinked a few times, then tipped back his head and started laughing.

"I'm a mortal man like any other, despite what any bard tells you. I did what I had to to unite Ferelden, stop a Blight, and depose a madman. And then when the darkspawn threatened us again, I took a new group of Wardens with me to teach them a lesson. But from what you told me about your adventures in Kirkwall, you and Anders have been through a lot. It's good that he showed up your pathetic former master."

"Did you know Danarius?" Connor shook his head and frowned.

"Not personally, but we took in a young woman who was going to be his apprentice. I told her she was better off an apostate than an aspiring blood mage." Fenris went to agree, but then closed his mouth, eyes wide.

"Wait, she was going to be his apprentice?" An icy feeling formed in his chest. "She… Is she an Elf?" The Warden tilted his head, looking intrigued.

"Yes, by the name of Varania." Anger coursed through the warrior as he leapt to his feet, eyes narrowed.

"Where. Is. She?" he demanded. Connor stood, one hand instinctively reaching for one of his daggers, but he forced himself to remain calm.

"You two have some history, I take it?"

"She is my sister, and the one who told Danarius where I was." The human's mouth fell open a bit as realization dawned on him. Fenris had left out **how** Danarius had finally cornered him, but now it made sense.

"I'll be sure to keep you two apart, then. But Varania is our apprentice healer."

"A healer?"

"Said she needed to atone for something, and this was the best way to do it. Anders had similar reasoning when we first met, so I told her she could stay here and learn. Morrigan isn't the… Kindest mistress, but at least she can heal simple injuries."

"But Anders' injury is not simple?" Fenris wondered, sitting back on the bed.

"Apparently not. Varania can't figure out exactly what's wrong, but she knows there's more to it than the entry wound in his side."

"Entry wound?" Connor crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.

"Arrow. We didn't see it anywhere near where we found you two, so I'm assuming he pulled it out before taking a tumble." The Warden stood and gently patted Pounce's head, leaving the room. "Be ready for tonight, Fenris."

"I will be," the Elf assured him, laying a light hand on Anders' chest. The mage's heart was still beating much too rapidly, and he frowned. "Hang on, Anders. We'll get you out, and then we'll find Sebastian. And he will die for this." Pounce hissed slightly at the mention of the Prince's name, fur fluffing up. Cat and Elf locked eyes, and the warrior smiled in spite of himself. "You may not be a Mabari, but you are a fighter, little one. Make sure Anders' body stays safe until we return."

* * *

><p>The Fade was a muted, shifting world of dull colors and odd silence. They were standing on a chunk of bare rock, a metal door in front of them. Fenris shivered in spite of himself as Connor looked around. Across from them, Hawke and Merrill shimmered into existence, along with Feynriel. "You're all right!" the Dalish mage said happily, running over and hugging the former slave.<p>

"Anders is trapped in the Fade?" Hawke asked, looking bothered.

"We'll get him out," Connor vowed, stepping forward and extending a hand to the Champion. "Connor Cousland, good to meet you."

"I'm Hawke, and this is Merrill. Good to have you with us."

"I should explain a few things before we proceed," Feynriel brought up. "I won't be able to be with you, since I'll be maintaining the connection between your minds and Anders'. So keep your wits about you, and try to stay together."

"Do you have any idea what we can expect?" Merrill wondered, taking Hawke's hand. The young man shook his head and looked at the door.

"No. Just be careful. I can feel that his mind isn't whole, and doing or saying the wrong thing might fracture it for good." He seemed to fade out, but then spoke again: "Open the door, and Creators be with you."

"Blessed Mythal, watch over us and keep us safe," Merrill whispered.

"Maker watch over us," Hawke intoned.

"Andraste guide us," Connor added.

"I'm coming, Anders," Fenris said as he opened the door and stepped through. The others followed, and there beheld a puzzling sight: The landscape was a mix of various buildings and rooms. Fenris saw a large fortress in the distance, but it was being stabbed through by a tower. There was his clinic, but it seemed to be partially being taken over by not only the Hawke estate's main room, but also Fenris' bedroom. Three door stood at various angles and heights, and everyone just stared for a moment. Suddenly, Connor caught movement from the tower, and they all saw a boy drop from one of the windows and race across the ground, the robes he was wearing seemingly too big. He skidded to a halt at the door, having caught sight of the group. Merrill stepped forward, concern in her eyes.

"Anders?" she called. The boy's eyes widened, and he quickly opened the door and darted through. Merrill gave chase, even as Hawke tried to grab her.

"Stay together!" he called out, but to no avail. Merrill touched the door and disappeared, and then they heard laughter. Looking up, they saw a slightly-younger Anders walking towards them from the fortress, Pounce at his side.

"Well, isn't she a pretty one?" he said with a grin. "I might need to get her alone later." Connor stepped forward, one eyebrow raised.

"Anders?"

"In the flesh, Commander! Or at least, as fleshy as I can be in here. Come to visit after all these years?"

"We came to bring you back."

"That's not Anders," Hawke told him, scowling at the robed man.

"I'm not?" the mage in question asked, looking surprised. "I certainly feel like me, and I definitely think like me."

"The Anders I knew wouldn't hit on Merrill."

"We could share," the mage offered as Hawke blushed fiercely. "Besides, the Anders you knew is a pathetic shell." He pointed at the clinic mishmash, and they all saw a form hunched over a desk, writing.

"There you are!" Hawke called out, walking over. The figure looked up in surprise, then stood and went to the warrior.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly.

"Bringing you back," Hawke told him, laying a hand on his shoulder. Fenris' eyes were flicking between the two Anders and the door Merrill had disappeared through.

"Something isn't right here."

"It's the Fade," Connor reminded him. "Even though it's Anders' version, it still plays tricks on you."

"Or maybe **because** it's my version," the younger Anders brought up.

"You have to leave," the clinic version told them, shaking his head. "It's not safe for you here." But Hawke grabbed his arm, even as Connor took his Anders' wrist.

"We're leaving," the Warden stated, pulling on the mage. But a smirk curled his lip, and Connor found his body lifted up and tossed towards the door. He hit it and disappeared, and Hawke attempted to draw his sword. However, the other Anders pulled him back into the clinic, ramming him into the third door as the other warrior also vanished. Fenris stood in shock as both Anders nodded at each other and calmly walked through the doors, leaving the Elf alone.

"Fenris, can you hear me?" Feynriel's voice called out.

"I can. Are the others still in the Fade?"

"Yes, but I won't be able to maintain all these separate points of view. Please find them and get them out!" The Elf sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. He started to head for the door that Merrill had gone through, when he saw a shimmer of light sitting on a rock between the fortress and the clinic. It appeared to be a suit of armor. "What are you?" he demanded, sword out now. The armor stood and walked over, and a familiar feeling washed over the Elf as his markings began to glow.

"I am Justice. Please Fenris, let me help you."

"I need no help from a Demon!" The Spirit sighed and shook his head.

"I am part of this world and part of the Fade. I can offer you insight and knowledge that not even another mage would have. If you wish to save Anders, take me with you." The Elf sheathed his sword and swallowed, staring at the door.

"Just so we are clear: I do not trust you. But if you can help me save Anders, I will work with you for now." The glow around Justice brightened for a moment, and he nodded, putting a hand on Fenris' shoulder and touching the door.

"It will suffice. Let's go."


End file.
